“I can make it home.” Famous last thoughts I had last night sitting in my driver’s seat after I had just finished the last sips of my latte and loaded a few groceries from Target in my trunk.
20 minutes later I was in my garage when I remembered that I had shut my condo door without having my keys in hand. Thankfully, after many times locking myself out, I smartened up and put an extra key and key fob at the front desk in my mailbox. You can’t get into the building from the garage without the key fob, so I used the emergency phone to call the front desk to ask security to come and let me in. I couldn’t quite understand him, but he told me to go to another elevator, take it to level A, and I think from there I could call for him to let me in. I didn’t have time to clarify the message as I really had to use the bathroom!
So I went to the other elevator and got to the door, which led me to the lobby level. Fortunately, someone was walking by and kindly let me in. I walked to the front desk and asked for my key. The front desk guy handed me a small manila envelope with my key and then opened a binder for me to sign my key out. I look at him perplexed and said, “I’ve never had to do this before.” He mumbled something, and I just quickly scribbled my info down and headed to the elevator to go to my condo.
On the way up, I opened the manila envelope to shake out the key and a key fell to the floor along with one dangling earring whose gems got knocked out when it hit the floor. And that is when I realized this was my manila envelope, but not the manila envelope that had my condo key!
“Why did I have a manila envelope with a key and one earring in it you ask? Well, a week ago I took a pair of ruby earrings I was gifted from my first boyfriend and one gold earring whose match I had lost while salsa dancing to a pawn shop to sell. I had also found an old condo building key in a small manila envelope and another single earring whose match I had also lost. I stuck the that earring in the manila envelope with the key to see if the pawn shop took metal to meltdown. I didn’t want to just throw them away. They only took gold.
I realized after recently locking myself out, I must have picked up the wrong manila envelope to put back at the front desk. So now I’m standing on my floor in the hallway in front of the elevator trying to figure out what to do.
I abandoned my groceries, and got back into the elevator. I had no time to deal with them. My only option was to drive somewhere to use the bathroom. As I walked to my car, I looked up the hours for the Target nearby remembering that the Target i had just come from closed at 10. It was after 10 and sure enough it was closed. Pre-pandemic, it would have still been open! I got into the car and looked on my passenger seat to see if I had left the spare key there or if it had fallen on the floor. No luck.
So i drove up to the 711 a block away. I walked in and although there was a long line, one of the cashiers looked at me. I said, “Do you have a bathroom?”
He said, “No.”
I walked next door to the Stone Hot Pizza thinking I would just buy a drink and some breadsticks or something and they would let me use their bathroom. I walked in and asked, “Do you have a bathroom?” and he said, “No”, right as my eyes located the restroom door that had an “Out of order” sign on it.
Trying to keep calm, I got back into my car, and drove up the street to the McDonalds. I parked, walked through the drive thru line to get to the door and pulled on the handle. It was locked! Again, this would have been open pre-pandemic!
With disbelief all over my face, I got back into the car and drove across the street to the Shell gas station. I walked into the store and asked, “Do you have a bathroom?”
The answer was again, “No.”
I was dying!!! I’d been dying for a while now!!!
I drove to the next street over where there is a Denny’s. There were many cars parked in front which was a good sign,, so I parked in the online pickup order spot right in front, walked quickly to the door and pulled on the handle. It opened! I located the restroom sign and carefully hightailed it there!
I opened the handicapped stall and the toilet was full of paper. I walked to the next stall, which was “not great”, so I walked to the third stall which was “not great either”, but there was no other choice. And finally, after over an hour, I was saved. My colon was giving me the finger though!
But I was still locked out of my unit. That meant I was going to have to get the building engineer to open my unit and get charged for it. This time I drove to the front lobby. I looked one more time for the other manila envelope with the key in my car. Still no luck. I wondered if I had put both envelopes in my mailbox at the front desk. There was a woman there now, and she pulled a manila envelope out and handed it to me.
I thought I had finally found the key, but the envelope had another unit number on it. I handed it back to her and clarified the unit number, doubtful that it was in the box. She handed me another manila envelope. It had my unit number on it with the key and key fob inside.
It was there the whole time…