Perspective to Perseverance

A friend blurted out “Another #*&%^ year has gone,” in the first few moments of 2018 standing with me and another friend in front of the bar moments after our midnight toast.

Many of us end the year thinking about what we didn’t accomplish and push it forward with good intention of having 365 new days to get that list done. These intentions include weight loss, trying to find a better job with better money, and being more productive with your time. It’s usually about what you aren’t in your life. You’re not thin enough, you’re not happy or even miserable in your job, or you’re not rich enough to buy the things you want.

Sound familiar?

Lately when I wake up, I’m tired, and then I think about what lays before me. A day full of work until dark. Then there is the intense workout to lose the 17 lbs. I put back on knowing I had lost it earlier in the year from exercise and dancing so much. Meanwhile, I try to resist bingeing on the chocolate treats and cookies in my kitchen. And then there is bundling up to walk through the frigid air outside to get anywhere. With my sleepy half-shut and dry eyes from the heat that has been on all night, I just wanted to throw the covers back over me and submerge into sleep to make it all go away.

Yesterday, I woke up not as groggy, but just as unmotivated by the tedious and very detailed work I had to get through, until I turned on the tv while I took a cereal break. Hoda Kotb and her guest co-host Kier Simmons were talking about Holly Butcher’s letter. I had heard something about a woman with a viral message the day before.  This was that woman. Holly died at age 27 of Ewing’s sarcoma. You can read her letter here: http://www.samanthawillsfoundation.org/contributors/2018/1/6/holly-butcher-1990-2018 Kier read aloud a passage from it. “You have cellulite…and your belly is wobbling…It is all So insignificant when you look at life as a whole.”

Hoda continued to read her words, “I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise – Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.”

 

It was as if they were talking to me. I examine my cellulite,  my wobbly belly and expanding parts daily. Guilty As Charged!

I knew God had me turn on the tv at that very moment so that I could hear those words and reset. It really helped me. I had a productive work day, cooked two healthy meals when I hardly ever cooked one, exercised, started writing, and even went dancing for a short while. It felt great!

Today, I woke up and began what I thought was going to be a lighter work day. I  was wrong. I had a headache while I spent the day trying to fix bad data, something I thought was a quick fix in the morning. Very frustrating especially with a headache. I called my mother and said, “I’m only going to vent for 20 seconds.” trying to keep in mind what Holly had said. “It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively affect other people’s days.” It was more than 20 seconds, but it was shorter than normal. And then I shook it off.

And to end my day, I received an email with subject line EXAM FAIL in all caps for the Virginia Real Estate Principles Final Exam. Were the caps really necessary? I was surprised. I thought I had done enough to pass. I thought, “I shouldn’t have missed more than 30 questions.” I needed a 70 to pass. I missed 32. Yes, two more than I could to pass. I called the course provider to inquire about next steps for the exam. I even asked how the exams were graded wondering about grading integrity since it was a multiple choice test where I had to fill in the bubbles with a No. 2 pencil. I then asked “What is the pass rate on the exam the first time?”

The service rep said, “I don’t know the answer to that. I don’t get too many people calling me to ask that. People usually get in the 70’s or 80’s on the first try.”

I wish there was a camera filming the look on my face when she said that. Knife twisted inside wound.

This day was Very Annoying! But then I stepped back to look at the big picture. I remembered a fortune lying around in my condo. “Failure is feedback and feedback is the breakfast of champions.” I thought, “Ok. Serve it up with coffee!”

I might be occupying more space in the world right now, but more importantly I’m healthy. It’s just a number! I don’t love to work out, but I am grateful I have the ability to do it. It does energize me when I do! I can still eat sweets and not constantly berate myself. Everything in moderation and it’s what makes me happy.

My career and life aren’t where I want them to be, but I am paving the way. Here are some of my accomplishments.

I painted the entrance of my condo.

I made a playlist and threw a 70’s, 80’s, 90’s party. I had been wanting to for a long time and plan to make it an annual event.

I got back into salsa again. I took some salsa and bachata lessons.

I finally sold my bedroom and entertainment set. I’d been trying to do it for years. I sold them both together and to a man who sent them to his mother in Gambia! What are the odds of that? I bought new furniture to give my place a fresh look. The painting and the interior decorating are a passion of mine.

I took some WordPress classes, so that I could launch my website and my blog. I did both as is evident.

I read Designing Your Life so I could design mine.

I took courses to volunteer to go overseas to help with the Puerto Rico relief effort. I found out after the fact that I couldn’t deploy as a new volunteer. I would have missed most of my father’s visit if I had deployed. It was annoying finding that out after doing all of that training, but at least my intentions were good, and I got to see more of my father. Instead, I donated money and volunteered with SoliHeart which also supports natural disaster efforts in Puerto Rico, Mexico, and other areas. Holly is right. Giving really does make you happy.

I finished my memoir and am currently pursuing an agent.

I finished my real estate course after a little over a year. I failed the test, but at least I had tried. Customer service graciously allowed me to get another extension on the course for free so I could take it again. I hadn’t failed a cancer test.

I had started this list awhile ago and I’m glad I did. It was amazing to look back at all I had done. I had forgotten. Reading Holly’s letter and reviewing my list kept my weight gain, work frustrations, and failed real estate exam in perspective. They were so insignificant and my life was so much more than that. Maybe it was my brain that gained the weight from all of that knowledge, experience, and learning! 😉

As you enter this year, push towards your goals, but acknowledge your accomplishments as well. It’s a healthier way of being when you feed your self with positive motivation than with a negative one. If you are unhappy, make changes instead of complaining or just talking about it. Do them! Every moment is a new opportunity.

Thank you Holly for having such a moving impact on my life and so many others with your precious words. You live on in so many of us. ‘Til we meet someday.